Neuroscience room 618

Neuroscience Room 618

your walls are cold
everything is sterile
should this be a positive?

Neuroscience ICU

buzzzzz
nurse: "How may I help you?"
Me: frozen...I can't say anything

she proceeds to get loud,
"HOW MAY I HELP YOU?"

I studder, "I, I'm here to see Amos Turner"
she tells me to hold

i cut my eyes
cuz this woman does not know what my family has been through
the last 3 days have been hell
and if she doesn't watch it
she might experience hell on earth from....me

the doors open
black suite, blond hair
ohhh so this is the voice behind the doors that once stood closed
no eye contact this go round
just a polite voice
"Mr. Turner is in 618"

we walk into his room
and the confusion on his face tells it all
he speaks, in a rugged tone,
"Joyce"
"Liza"
but wait, you got her name right...no grandpa i'm not liza,
i'm tonza

ha, you never could pronounce my name right, but i adapted

remember me?
the loud one, you have to remember

i once stood in the middle of your living room
stomping on your coffee table

remember, i was the only one who got away with that
i was the your "doll baby".......

i'll just blame it on the sedation
cuz i know they have no adoration...for you
the way that i do

those gray eyes
they once had life, but now...
now they are just empty

Neuroscience Room 618

4 seizures in one afternoon
damages? who knows
explanations? they for dam* sure don't know

wtf
i know you're not God, but can you at least...
tell me something

moms is slowly declining
she was never one to deal with the sick

so that leaves me, standing here
waiting...
cuz i'm not leaving until you figure it out
somebody has to put the iron fist down

stop bs'n my fam
and get me some answers

Neuroscience Room 618

he's fidgeting
so i'll try to make him more comfortable
we're tugging and pulling at sheets, trying our best

you see this ONE nurse, he doesn't like...
and we know why, but won't say it aloud

so instead of dicsussion we just step in and take her place, lol
some things never change

i now see where some of my ideals come from...

its 6:30

black suite, blond hair cuts the lights off
visiting hours = over

its time to go -- Southbound 95
moms doesn't want to leave, so i just wait until she's ready

black suite, blonde hair comes back

lol, its not worth the fuss, lets go

i slowly kiss his head and rub his arm...repeat
"alright, liza"

my head drops...


*to be continued*

got

you got me
i was driving home
for the last time from an experience that will never be duplicated

what is with this!
why do we go through things with half closed eyes
and when its over, we look back and say dam*

so i try to live in the moment
never passing up the opportunity
to do anything and everything
within my wants and needs

i hate good bye's
God knows i do

maybe i'm thinking too hard
taking too much from those who i've been surrounded by

i don't care
that's who i am

but yea you got me

my emotions took over as i drove away
the road clouded by my tears

even as i type this the computer screen has slowly become an amoeba of memories

but such is life

it feels great to get got:)

cuz i wouldn't be me without it

Crush

i've been watching you
and I like what I see
but the first move will never be me

but I don't want to wait
because tomorrow is never promised
ha, i like to call you my afro-donis, lol

i wasn't expecting this
feelings
shmeelings

my hard exterior won't allow me to share this

but until the right time, i'll be waiting
patience isn't your strong suit
so, i hope you make the first move...

snaps snaps*

Passion

Its passion when you will yell at the top of your lungs for the entire world to hear you.

Passion keeps you up all night, but still wakes up with you in the morning.

Its what gives you goosebumps.

Draining both mentally and physically, passion keeps you going while in the moment.

Passion is a high and when you finally come down even in the heat of the crash you can't wait to go back up.

Being without passion is like being without a purpose.

Passion F*#!$ so hard with happiness.

Its in my nature...this passion thing, and regardless of the outcome, I will fight until my natural death for this feeling in my heart.

Find your passion.

A new experience: My first week at VSU

It's Friday for some, but because I'm working through the weekend, today is just another day with no end in sight.

I've been at VSU for 6 days now and I absolutely, hands down, thumbs up, positively love it here! Going to an HBCU is like a breath of fresh air!
Ths sounds...

I can hear the marching band practicing -- the drumline is beating away in the distance, and the brass and wind section are counting away their steps to the next set. Further down the street there are a couple of sisters sitting on the stoop to Foster Hall chatting about their drama. How can I tell? HA! All I had to hear was, "I don't like that (blank) and I better nor see her in the cafe tomorrow. I just laugh and keep walking -- I'm strolling pass the basketball and there are about 15 brothers going toe-to-toe, all hot, sweaty, with no shirts on -- PTL! In between all of this at least 3 caprices (sittin on 22's of course) have rode by bumping, or should I say BOOMING the sounds of Rick Ross and others the like. The po-po has also passed at least twice -- I threw the dueces -- cuz I love everybody!

They're about to have a jam session behind me for the summer school students. I can hear the DJ laughing on the mic about the fact that no one is there. I wish I was, but I'm on my way to my dorm because these 10-hour days are beginning to get to me -- time to soak it all in -- slumber.

Until after the next sunrise --
Peace and Love
-Me

Change -- to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.

I think change is necessary, so that's why the name of this blog has changed. Rida (Ree-dah) has died, and probably won't resurface again.
I'm in a world where I'm constantly learning. And piece I'm gaining the wisdom and knowledge necessary to carry me through this life.
While my foundation is solid -- I see nothing wrong with adding sandbags every once in a while just for that extra reassurance. My conservative view has sometimes made me resistant to new ideas, but I'm trying to change that as of now.
I can't stay in one place too long. My mother often says, "you don't let grass grow under your feet." She can never tell what's coming from me. My mother and father often tell me I was a "different child" but I don't think so though. I just do what I want, when I feel like it...which I see nothing wrong with!
Until we meet again!
-Me

One In A Million

So my past entries have been all about things going on in my life, but now its time to move on to things that I can state my opinion on.

Sex is not everything. But in our society that's what it has come to. I've met dudes at 10 p.m. and by 10:10 they are already asking me to have sex in an indirect way. Its really sad that so many females feel this way, but quite frankly, we've gotten used to it, and we accept it to a certain level.

Its just not attractive for a guy to talk about sex within the first few minutes of meeting a female. NOT EVERY female is hoe out here! There are some of us who don't want to have a one-night-stand with you, or who even still claim to be on the Virgin Island! It especially bothers me when a good looking dude, or even a guy who has lot going for himself stoops to that level of asking for sex before you even know my last name.

Not to get too serious out here, but its reality, STI's and HIV are spreading and you would think people would be more careful. A condom can't prevent you from getting herpes! So why are you poking everything that walks by with a nice body! I know some of the most georgous females who have herpes, and ghonorea! If she's fine enough for you to try to hit, don't you think other dudes have hit before too?!? More than likely if she looks good and gives it up to you, she's done it before and it probably won't be her last time.

I feel like sex is used as a way to form a male's identity in some cases. They feel as though they need to go out here and "sow their wild oats" in order to be excepted by their peers. But someone has to stand up and be different. AND I KNOW there are some of you guys out there! I'm not one of these male-bashing females. I do believe there are some good guys who are not hoes and want love with sex.

You're just one in a million.

Sex is physical. But I think it can be controlled on a mental level when that individual wants to. Abstinence isn't easy, but it makes the moment that much better when you wait. If I could get that thought through to my peers I would be good to go!

Such is life...